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A habit of failure is a blessing in disguise
I’ve had many dips in my life. I like to challenge myself to accomplish things people wouldn’t dare to achieve. Because of that, I’ve failed a lot. I’ve felt powerless and have thought about giving up countless times. And for most things, I actually did give up.
But, some things are achievable and are worth pursuing.
Do you know what those are in your life?
Years ago, I had the dream to build my own full-length video game. I knew it was possible because I had seen others do it before. And I had done it professionally for other studios too. So, in November 2013, I started work on this crazy project I never thought would take me seven years to complete.
I could have given up many times during the process. In fact, I took many breaks during that time. But I always came back to it. In addition to really wanting to play the game myself, I was strongly motivated by the fact that I knew it was possible to do, no matter how hard it was. This gave me hope to keep pushing.
Similarly, in my journey as a Medium writer, I’ve had many ups and downs. And I want to put a big emphasis on the downs. Sometimes, I’d have no success with my articles for eight months in a row. Somehow, I pushed through. I think it has to do with the fact that I had seen others (and myself) succeed in the past, so I knew it was possible to get back on track.
I’ve been in a slump for seven months now. I thought about giving up quite a few times. But I won’t. I know I can get back on track.
Tim Denning has been writing for more than 5 years and he’s finally hitting his stride. And when I analyzed the top articles from the past 4 years, I see that they’re mostly all from “old-times” writers. Writing really is a long-term game.
So, let me ask you these questions: What are you procrastinating or giving up on doing? Is it possible to achieve it? Have others done it before you? Is the reward worth it?
It’s time to change your mindset
We often think that we can’t do something when in reality, most things are within your ability to make it work. You just need to figure out how. Most people don’t think about asking themselves the “how” question, resorting instead to “I can’t…” High achievers don’t think like that, and they’re the ones making their dreams come true.
If I had the “I can’t…” mentality, I’d never have finished my game after seven years. You’d never be reading this article or other articles I’ve written in the past two years.
Similarly, a year and a half ago, when I was in Colombia, I set out to learn to salsa dance in a month of practice. I have zero rhythm and knew nothing about that style of music. But I knew it was possible. Not easy, but possible. I hired a private teacher and practiced for one hour every morning at 7 AM.
I wanted to prove it was possible to do, and I did.
Start a habit of failing regularly
When I started my approach of learning three new skills every month back in October 2017, I set myself up for failure, every single month. Let me tell you that it was one of the greatest habits I’ve ever developed! I’m not afraid of trying and failing anymore, because deep down, I know it’s possible to accomplish a lot more than we think we can.
And when a goal seems impossible to achieve, that’s when you have to figure out creative ways to solve your problems. To me, that’s the most interesting part.
That’s when you start to work backward from the result you want to reach, as Stephen R. Covey puts it in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Then you break down the process in smaller, achievable chunks. Suddenly, you start to believe that it’s actually achievable.
And that’s a magical feeling, my friend!
The more you start things from scratch, the more you’ll understand how to break things down and how achievable things can be.
How to know if something is worth pursuing
Alright, so you know something is possible yet hard, how do you know if it’s worth pursuing? The short answer is that you don’t. No one knows for sure if anything is worth chasing. It’s circumstantial, and a lot of times, you don’t know until after the fact.
Months ago, I asked Michael Thompson about what he loves most about life. He told me the following:
“What I love most about life — with the exception of my wife and kids […]— is that when you decide to move forward the more the world begins to open up to you — but in ways you could have never predicted. Not one thing I love today was the result of some grand plan. I said “Yes” to something random and somewhere along the way it took me to where I needed to go and into the arms of the people I was supposed to meet. I think that’s what makes life so fun — the unpredictability of it all. You just never know where the world will take you. But you have to get off your ass in order for those moments to take place.”
I couldn’t agree more with him. It’s the random bets you make on yourself that end up paying off in the end; not the things you actually set out to do.
I never aimed to be a writer. I stumbled upon Medium as a way to improve my written English. When I started writing in January 2018, I never knew I’d still be at it today. After my first month, I decided to continue. It felt right. I’ve now made tens of thousands of dollars on the platform.
I never predicted that, but I continued, knowing it was possible.
When you drop “I can’t…” and replace it with “How can I…”, magic happens. You start to think deeper about how things work and start believing in your ability to reach what you thought were impossible goals. You know that you can’t predict your success, but you say “yes” anyway, because deep down, you know you can do it. You won’t always get rewarded for your efforts, but the lessons will remain with you forever.
Know you can do it, take chances, and have fun in life.
You can do this!
— Danny