Cover Image: Illustration by Danny Forest. Those that had the biggest impact in my life are highlighted in yellow.

Even if you’re starting from zero

One of the most sought-after skills is confidence — and with good reason. People with high confidence have less anxiety, more motivation, and of course, lead a happier life. These are only a few of the numerous benefits.

I used to lack confidence. Outwardly, it seemed like I had some confidence, but deep down, I didn’t feel confident. The thing with confidence is that it comes and goes. When you win big, you feel very confident. When you lose, your confidence goes down.

True confidence is when external (positive or negative) events don’t impact your level of confidence much. The only way to reach that is by doing enough different things that all contribute to your overall confidence.

I’ve tried and succeeded at every single one of the 31 ways in this article. Some are backed by science, others have simply been observed from experimenting in the past three years.

This guide is comprehensive, and not everything will apply to you. Because of that, I’m including a table of contents so you can jump to the things that may be relevant to your life. Read them, and start taking your life back into your hands.

*See Appendix A at the bottom for visual representations.

Achieve

Raise your confidence by…

1. Doing things outside of your comfort zone

Frequently doing things you’re comfortable doing might hinder your confidence since confidence is built by achieving things that are hard for you to achieve.

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” — Neale Donald Walsch

How to do things outside your comfort zone:

✅ Do:

Switch up your routine (more on that below)
Try something new until you feel comfortable
Agree to something you wouldn’t normally consider
Keep a list of growth goals

❌ Don’t:

Just hang out with the same people (more on that below)
Stay at home all the time
Just practice one skill (more on that below)
Consume the same type of content all the time

Additional Resources:

2. Fighting your fears

Confident people are not fearless, but they don’t let their fears prevent them from accomplishing their goals.

“Fears are nothing more than a state of mind.” — Napoleon Hill

How to fight your fears (steps):

Acknowledge it
Write it down
Feel it
Ask yourself: what’s the worst thing that can happen?
Just do it
Prepare yourself for battle
Be in the moment
Small steps
Celebrate every success

Additional Resources:

Article: 33 Powerful Ways of Overcoming Fear … Right Now
Article: A Guide to Beating the Fears That Are Holding You Back
Video: How to Overcome Fear
Video: How To Overcome Fear And Anxiety In 30 Seconds
Book: Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts

3. Getting a raise

It takes courage to go to your boss and tell them you’re worth more than they’re giving you. Getting a raise improves your confidence because it confirms you’re doing the right thing.

“You only get what you believe you deserve. Raise the bar, raise your standards and you’ll receive a better outcome.”-Joel Brown

How to get a raise:

✅ Do:

Time your request properly
Keep a file of notes about your accomplishments
Show your eagerness to learn
Be honest
Show initiative (if your boss values that)

❌ Don’t:

Ask via email
Ask at high-stress times
Give an ultimatum
Compare to others’ salaries
Go personal

Additional Resources:

Article: How to Get a Raise or Job Promotion at Work
Article: The Best Way to Ask for a Raise
Video: Barbara Corcoran Explains How To Ask For A Raise
Video: How to Negotiate a Pay Raise | Asking Your Boss for More Money

4. Making money doing things you love

Many people work for others and don’t have the courage to work on their stuff outside of it, yet it puts you in the achiever mindset, and that leads to increased confidence.

“Do what you love and the money will follow.” — Marsha Sinetar

How to make money doing things you love:

✅ Do:

Use online services like Upwork or Fiverr
Go door to door to sell your services
Post ads about your products and services
Use the 1–50 rule to start fast

❌ Don’t:

Sit back hoping you’ll get clients or customers
Only work 9–5 at your job
Give up before even trying
Undervalue yourself

Additional Resources:

5. Publishing your work online

Sometimes, you just need a little reminder that what you’re doing matters to others, and you can change their lives, one way or another. Nothing is more empowering than hearing that you changed someone else’s life.

“Done is better than perfect.” — Sheryl Sandberg

How to publish your work online:

✅ Do:

Use existing platforms like Medium, Youtube, Pinterest, Anchor, etc.
Publish before it’s perfect
Ask for constructive feedback
Publish consistently
Connect with other content creators

❌ Don’t:

Fear backlash (it rarely happens until you become super popular)
Worry that you’re not the best
Wait for the right time
Feed the trolls (if any)

Additional Resources:

Action

Raise your confidence by…

6. Learning new skills

Learning new skills teaches your brain that you can grow and become more competent. The more competent you become, the more confidence you build.

“We always start from a position of un-qualification.” — Danny Forest

How to learn new skills:

✅ Do:

Set practice time in your daily routine
Use Skill Trees
Diversify what you learn
Find people to practice/study with
Record your progress
Learn how to learn
Prepare your learning beforehand (but don’t over-prepare)

❌ Don’t:

Be sporadic in your practice
Get discouraged too quickly
Start from a skill that’s too hard for you
Spend too much money, there are plenty of free great resources

Additional Resources:

7. Acting according to your values

Knowing your values helps, but there’s nothing like acting according to them. If you value altruism and help people, for example, you’ll gain tremendous confidence because you are staying true to yourself.

“Values are like fingerprints. Nobody’s are the same, but you leave them all over everything you do.” — Elvis Presley

How to act according to your values:

✅ Do:

Define those values (More on that below)
Place them somewhere you can (almost) always see them.
Do at least one deliberate action daily that is according to your values

❌ Don’t:

Compromise on your values
Change them too frequently

Additional Resources:

TEDx: Who are you? Unleashing your Core Values

8. Doing volunteer work

There’s no downside to volunteering and helping people. I don’t think anything in life makes me happier than giving without asking anything in return. This, in turn, boosts my confidence.

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, what are you doing for others?” — Martin Luther King Jr.

How to do volunteer work:

✅ Do:

Do it to genuinely help people
Do things you would not have the courage to do at home
Lend your skills in any way to help people
Respect the people you’re trying to help
Have an open mind
Learn about etiquette

❌ Don’t:

Do it for the pictures
Do it for your resume
Do bad voluntourism
Try to change everything
Don’t ever ask to get paid!

Additional Resources:

Article: The Reality of Voluntourism and the Conversations We’re Not Having
Article: Volunteer Etiquette Guidelines
TEDx: Volunteering: empowering others, empowering yourself
Video: The Power of Volunteering

9. Travelling on your own

Travelling forces you to go out of your comfort zone. When you travel, you get into situations you wouldn’t normally encounter back at home and that forces you to become more resourceful. The more you realize you can do things out of your comfort zone, the more confidence you’ll get.

“Travel far enough, you meet yourself.” — David Mitchell

How to travel on your own:

✅ Do:

Stay with locals (use Airbnb and Couchsurfing)
Hang out with other travelers
Spend at least a few days in each place
Have a spare credit card
Listen to advisory and danger treats, but don’t freak out either
Check visa requirements before entering a country
Learn about etiquette for each country

❌ Don’t:

Carry too much cash on you
Flash your expensive things or cash
Disrespect the locals
Just go in countries that look like yours

Additional Resources:

Article: Ten Tips for Traveling Alone
Article: 20 tips on travelling solo from people who have done it
Video: SOLO TRAVEL: What to Know Before Traveling By Yourself | Sorelle Amore
Video: How to Travel Alone: Solo Travel Tips

10. Doing public speaking

You need to have a good level of confidence if you want to do public speeches. The more comfortable you get speaking in front of a crowd, the more confident you’ll get.

“There are only two types of speakers in this world, the nervous and the liars.” — Mark Twain

How to do public speaking:

✅ Do:

Join public speaking groups like Toastmasters
Practice at least twice a week
Rehearse
Improv
Tell personal stories
See others’ perspective
Pay attention to your body language

❌ Don’t:

Only practice by yourself
Just repeat the same speech
Only practice with the same people

Additional Resources:

Mindset

Raise your confidence by…

11. Being affirmative with yourself

Confident people don’t doubt they are capable of doing things even though they can’t yet do them.

“I am enough.” — You

How to be affirmative with yourself:

✅ Do:

Practice daily affirmations
Transform negative assumptions in positive ones
Raise your introspection
Recognize your feelings of guilt

❌ Don’t:

Spend (much) time with negative and selfish people
Take things personal when things are not going your way
Reduce projection
Judge yourself negatively
Try to read people’s minds

Additional Resources:

12. Knowing your values

People who know their values tend to be more confident because they are proud of what they stand for.

“It’s not hard to make decisions once you know what your values are.” — Roy Disney

How to know your values:

✅ Do:

Highlight all the values you stand for in this list of values
Narrow the above down to your top 10
Then narrow it down again to 3–5
Revisit them once or twice a year
Borrow them from people you admire

❌ Don’t:

Rush this. If you can’t narrow to 3–5 now, observe your behaviour over the course of a month and decide after.

Additional Resources:

Article: 7 Steps to Discover Your Personal Core Values
Article: 6 Ways to Discover and Choose Your Core Values
Video: How To Determine Your Core Life Values

13. Becoming more optimistic

Confident people are optimists, with a good amount of realism. Optimists believe they can do things, and so are more likely to take action and yield results.

“I am an optimist. It does not seem to much use to be anything else.” — Winston Churchill

How to be more optimistic:

✅ Do:

Say “how can I…”
Drop negative words from your vocabulary
Create positive mantras
Record your wins
Get a role model
Use a gratitude journal

❌ Don’t:

Say “I can’t”
Hang out with pessimists
Try to predict the future

Additional Resources:

Article: 21 Words To Ban From Your Vocabulary For Good
Article: 11 Ways To Become An Optimist
Video: How To Reprogram Your Mind (for Positive Thinking)
Video: Optimism — How To Become Optimisitic Right Now

14. Not giving up when it’s hard

Hardly anything contributes more to your confidence than succeeding at something hard for you. The more hard things you accomplish, the more confident you’ll get.

“No pain no gain” — Unknown

How to not give up when it’s hard:

✅ Do:

Persist. This is the most underrated skill
Remember your purpose
Repeat a mantra
Think about the payoff
Divert your attention
Make it a habit (don’t overdo it here)

❌ Don’t:

Let it lead to depression
Think about your limitations
Tell yourself you can’t do it

Additional Resources:

Article: 6 Tips to Push Past the Pain
Article: The Courage to Push Through Our Pain
Video: Tony Robbins: Hard Times | Get Through Tough Times ( Tony Robbins Depression )
TEDx: The gift of tough times

15. Practicing gratitude

When you genuinely appreciate what they have and what people give you, you want to give more of yourself. The more you give, the more confidence you get.

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” — Eckart Tolle

How to practice gratitude:

✅ Do:

Write in a gratitude journal daily
Write about the people and the things you’re grateful for
Share what you’re grateful for with others
Include an act of kindness in your life each day
Use the word “thank you” more often

❌ Don’t:

Speak badly about others

Additional Resources:

Article: 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude
Article: The Science Behind Gratitude (and How It Can Change Your Life)
Article: 42 Ways to Practice Gratitude Everyday
Video: Want to be happy? Be grateful

Productivity

Raise your confidence by…

16. Dropping a bad habit

Have you ever dropped a bad habit you had for a while? It feels amazing! This is one of the most powerful ways to build confidence because it requires a lot of dedication and is extremely hard to do. But once you do it, the pride you get leads to more confidence.

“Bad habits are easier to abandon today than tomorrow.” — Proverb

How to drop a bad habit:

✅ Do:

Change your environment to make it impossible for you to do the bad habit
Do it with others
Replace it with another better habit
Visualize your success
Plan for failure
Record your triggers

❌ Don’t:

Leave triggers for your bad habit near you
Let others discourage you
Try to break too many at once (one is enough)
Stop after a few days. It takes time

Additional Resources:

17. Starting a good habit

Starting a good habit is easier than dropping a bad one, but it’s still very powerful for your confidence, for the same reason.

“You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence is not an event, it’s a habit.” — Aristotle

How to start a good habit:

✅ Do:

Start with a habit that is so easy you can’t say no
Reflect on what is holding you back
Plan for when you fail
Set schedules over deadlines
Change your environment to start new triggers
Make it public

❌ Don’t:

Miss twice
Aim for perfection
Try to start too many at once (one is enough)

Additional Resources:

18. Working on important but non-urgent tasks

In a world of high-stress work, we rarely take the time to do things that are not urgent, postponing anything we feel is important but not urgent. Doing things that are important to you makes you feel more confident because you are achieving things for yourself, not just someone else’s agenda.

“There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.” — Peter Drucker

How to work on important but non-urgent tasks:

✅ Do:

Identify your why and your values (see above)
Use the Eisenhower matrix to prioritize
Use Ikigai to understand what’s important
Spend more time on these than any other tasks

❌ Don’t:

Think that everything is urgent
Forget to delegate non-important tasks
Leave important tasks out of your calendar

Additional Resources:

19. Delegating to people

Delegating something to someone else isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a strength. Knowing what you can or should do and passing the rest on to someone more suited to do it is one of my top bits of productivity advice. Moreover, the more you successfully delegate, the more confident you become since you can accomplish more in less time.

“We accomplish all that we do through delegation — either through time or to people.” — Stephen Covey

How to delegate to people:

✅ Do:

Recognize your strengths and those of others around you
Delegate your urgent but not-important tasks
Create win-win situations
Empower people you delegate to
Credit your collaborator(s)

❌ Don’t:

Hide information you should share
Mistake training for delegation
Provide vague instructions
Pick anyone to delegate to. Pick someone who will be good and enjoys it

Additional Resources:

20. Having a strong morning routine

A strong morning routine is a routine that sets you up for a positive and productive day. When you start the day right, you have the confidence you can take on anything that comes your way.

“If you win the morning, you win the day.” — Tim Ferriss

How to have a strong morning routine:

✅ Do:

Put your tasks in a calendar
Turn it into a habit
Stay as consistent as possible
Make it the same every day (and if possible, on weekends too)
Start the day with one or two easy tasks
Leave your phone off until your morning routine is finished for the day

❌ Don’t:

Skip a task. This makes it harder to build a habit
Go to bed not knowing what you’re going to do the next morning
Check social media or email when you wake up

Additional Resources:

Reflection

Photo by Laurenz Kleinheider on Unsplash

Raise your confidence by…

21. Knowing your why

Can you tell me one sentence that describes what’s your life purpose? Most people can’t. When I figured mine out, all my actions had a purpose. Either it was working towards my main goal, or away from it. Acting towards things that are productive for you is a great way to build confidence. It all starts with knowing your why.

“There is nothing that belief plus burning desire cannot make real.” — Napoleon Hill

How to know your why:

✅ Do:

Fill out your wheel of life
Fill out your Ikigai
Ask yourself why 5–7 times and you’ll know your answer
Figure out your core values (see above)
Guide your actions based on your why

❌ Don’t:

Stress too much if you can’t find it right away
Stop trying to find it
Force a purpose you don’t believe in
Let others tell you what your purpose should be

Additional Resources:

Book: Find Your Why: A Practical Guide for Discovering Purpose for You and Your Team
Book: Think and Grow Rich
Article: 10 Life Purpose Tips to Help You Find Your Passion
Article: 7 Strange Questions That Help You Find Your Life Purpose
Video: How to Find Your Purpose

Social

Raise your confidence by…

22. Seeing yourself as an equal to others

True confidence isn’t about seeing yourself as superior to others. My life is just as valuable as that of Bill Gates or a mother in a slum of a third-world country. True confidence comes from knowing that you’re not special. I find that reassuring. It means that if Bill Gates can do it, so can I!

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

How to see yourself as an equal to others:

✅ Do:

Talk about yourself positively
Talk about others positively
Lose your ego
Practice gratefulness (more on that later)
Allow yourself to have inferiority feelings, but don’t let them win

❌ Don’t:

Compare yourself positively or negatively
Say “I can’t”
Blame yourself or others. Blame situations.
Think what you’ve done in the past makes you less worthy

Additional Resources:

23. Saying no to something you don’t feel like doing

Confident people don’t feel bad about saying no to things they don’t feel like doing. This reaffirms their values and raises confidence even more.

“Perfection is achieved not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” — Antoine de Saint-Exupépy

How to say no to something you don’t feel like doing:

✅ Do:

Act according to your values (see above)
Limit your “yesses”
Learn what’s worth your time
Be considerate in your approach

❌ Don’t:

Say no just for the fun of it
Neglect the people you care about
Neglect the people who care about you
Give your time to people who don’t deserve it

Additional Resources:

Article: 31 Important Things You Should Say No To For A Happier Life
Article: 7 Tips for Saying No Effectively
TEDx: The Art of Saying No
Video: Jordan Peterson — How To Say NO To People

24. Surrounding yourself with confident people

If you know confident people around, try to spend more time with them. Their confidence will “rub off” on you.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” — Jim Rohn

How to surround yourself with confident people:

✅ Do:

Recognize who’s confident around you
Observe their behaviour
Ask them to help you
Find activities to do with your more confident friends

❌ Don’t:

Fake it just to make it part of a confident group
Only spend time with confident people (you may lose confidence)

Additional Resources:

25. Developing true influence

How often are people saying “yes” to you when you need a favour from them? That’s true influence. The more it happens, the more you’ve impacted their lives, and it’s their way of returning the favour. The more influence you develop, the more confidence you’ll get because you’ll know you’ve impacted the life of someone else positively.

“The influence of each human being on others in this life is a kind of immortality.” — John Quincy Adams

How to develop true influence:

✅ Do:

Change your mindset about rejection
Master the 3 Cs of challenging people (Character, Connection, Contribution)
Tell authentic stories
Give more than you ask for
Strengthen relationships
Inspire others through action

❌ Don’t:

Be afraid to ask for what you want
Be afraid to challenge others
Remove autonomy from people
Be selfish. Think win-win

Additional Resources:

26. Teaching others

There are two reasons why teaching what you know to someone helps you raise confidence. First, teaching increases your comprehension of the subject. The more you master something, the more confidence you get. Second, it’s a great way to change someone’s life.

“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” — Benjamin Franklin

How to teach others:

✅ Do:

Share your knowledge with your peers
Share your knowledge online, in blog posts, podcast or videos
Learn about good methods to impart knowledge onto others
Continually improve your craft

❌ Don’t:

Pretend you know everything
Let the fact that you don’t know everything stop you from sharing your knowledge
Think you need a degree for that
Do it for the money

Additional Resources:

Well-being

Raise your confidence by…

27. Watching your posture

Usually, you get better posture by becoming more confident. However, I’d argue that if you watch your posture first, you can also raise your confidence because people will perceive you as confident.

“Your body language shapes who you are.” — Amy Cuddy

How to watch your posture:

✅ Do:

Stand up straight
Keep your chin up
Make eye contact
Use power poses
Use open gestures
Smile and nod

❌ Don’t:

Slouch
Fidget
Reach for your pockets

Additional Resources:

Article: 10 Ways to Have More Confident Body Language
Article: 9 Powerful Body Language Tips To Instantly Boost Your Confidence
Video: Make Body Language Your Superpower
Video: Body Language — CHANGE HOW PEOPLE SEE YOU!!

28. Wearing things that feel like you

Some articles will tell you dressing “nicely” raises your confidence. I refute it. Wearing things you feel like wearing makes you confident. I’d be miserable if I would wear a suit every day. I wear my t-shirts and jeans proudly!

“I say, dress to please yourself. Listen to your inner muse and take a chance. Wear something that says ‘Here I am’ today.” — Idris Apfel

How to wear things that feel like you:

✅ Do:

Dress the way you want to (and are comfortable in)
Try different styles until you see what sticks
Notice how people react to you when you dress a certain style
Choose your outfits according to how you’re feeling
Add an accessory that means something to you

❌ Don’t:

Overdress
Copy someone’s style because they’re more confident than you

Additional Resources:

Article: 6 Essential Ways To Start Dressing With Confidence
Article: How to Dress Confidently
Video: how to find your style + the confidence to wear it
TEDx: Dressing for confidence and joy

29. Never neglecting your sleep

When you get quality sleep, you have more energy to perform well during the day. People who accomplish more “higher quality goals” are more confident. Most people don’t get the quality sleep they deserve.

“It is better to have six hours of uninterrupted deep sleep than even ten hours of disturbed sleep.” — Robin Sharma

How to never neglect your sleep:

✅ Do:

Wind down before bed
Sleep enough hours for your body to recover
Have a consistent sleeping routine
Exercise more

❌ Don’t:

Overthink the fact that you’re not falling asleep
Have stimulants like coffee too late in the afternoon
Nap too late in the afternoon
Watch TV or play video games in bed

Additional Resources:

Article: The Complete Guide to Insomnia: Symptoms, Causes & Cures
Article: How to Sleep Well Before a Big Day
Article: 3 Surprisingly Bad Sleep Habits Keeping You Exhausted
Video: 8 Tricks to Sleep Better According to Athletes

30. Raising your energy

Confident people have high energy that lets them achieve their goals. Energy is the fuel that makes you take actions and risks. The more energy you get, the more you’ll accomplish, and the more confidence you’ll build.

“The higher your energy level, the more efficient your body. The more efficient your body, the better you feel and the more your will use your talent to produce outstanding results.” — Tony Robbins

How to raise your energy:

✅ Do: