The other day I read the follow quote:
“The moment you accept total responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life is the day you claim the power the change ANYTHING in your life.” — Hal Elrod
So many times in life we “fail” at something and find every good reason to point the finger at someone else, trying to find a culprit for our failure.
We are terrible when it comes to self-reflection. It’s just so much easier to look at the surface and draw false conclusions.
But Hal Elrod is right in his quote. Once you accept responsibility for every bad thing that happens to you, everything changes.
A Recent “Failure”
I was recently rejected for a dream job I felt very qualified for.
Who’s fault is it?
Mine of course.
Now, I didn’t get a reason for my rejection. There may be a lot of things that are seemingly out of my control on the surface. But because it’s my fault, I peel down the layers:
- I have become too confident in my programming skills, thinking I had reached the top. This could prove I was wrong.
- I didn’t answer the pre-interview questions in a way that showcased how well-suited I was for the job.
- Maybe there was a lot of typos in my answers.
- I didn’t have the right network and connections.
Grow From “Failure”
I didn’t beat myself over it. Instead, when reflecting on the things I could have done wrong, I have a new sense of purpose.
Now, what I wrote above are simply assumptions, but nonetheless, there’s nothing to lose from working on those. It may not get me that job, but it may get me another one that’s equally good, or better.
There’s never anything to lose from working on yourself. Being a better programmer, being more persuasive, becoming a better writer and making more connections are all incredible things for any potential employers.
And this applies to every “failure” in your life, whether professional or personal.
The next time you “fail” at something, search deeper into the “why”. Most of the time, you’ll be able to see that you are indeed the cause of failure.
Embrace it. List key reasons why. Plan how you will improve. Execute. Measure. Reflect. Fail. Repeat.
For a lot of us, it’s not easy to “blame” ourselves for things that happen to us. Yet once you change your mindset and take responsibility for the bad things that happen to you, you grow way beyond whatever you could imagine before.
First published here: https://medium.com/swlh/its-your-fault-if-you-fail-and-how-to-grow-from-that-224c9bc417aa